The Death Club

he Death Club is book 1 in the Dead Men Walking duet by Caroline Peckham and Susanne Valenti.

Synopsis

Chaos. Carnage. Killing.

The three Cs that make my life complete.

I know killing technically doesn’t start with a C – but wouldn’t life be better if it did? Just like it would be better if the Devil was my boyfriend, Santa wasn’t a d*ck and I didn’t live under a bridge.

I wished for my life to improve, but it didn’t. I was kidnapped, sold, sold again, stuck in a death game, sold AGAIN and now I’m living in a serial killer’s basement.

Oh and there’s another dude down here who lives in a cage and doesn’t talk. I call him Dead Man on account of his soulless eyes. He either wants to kiss me or choke me out. I can’t decide which I want most.

Anyways, my hot, tattooed, muscular insane Irish captor thinks I might make a good hit woman once he trains me up. Which is a freaking insult by the way as I’m already the best killer in town. Ask anyone. Except the cops. Don’t ask them or they’ll send me back to that creepy asylum where they gave me the crazy pills. But shh, that’s a secret.

Want to know another one? I quite like it here. Every day is anarchy and that’s my favourite flavour.

So I think I’m gonna join The Death Club and let my freak flag fly.

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Trigger Warnings

Torture

Murder

Mentions of sexual assault and rape

Mental Instability

Kidnapping

Explicit sexual content

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Review

"Were there any occupations that had to deal with so much hatred as psychopaths? Where were the equal opportunity protesters who flew my flag? Although I had heard that there were some people who liked reading stories like mine about fucked up men like me and fantasised about taking them to bed, so maybe that was where I’d find my people. The readers who understood that sometimes a bit of choking was perfectly acceptable or maybe even desirable and wouldn’t judge me for it." I had so much fun reading this book. Caroline and Susanne are amazing as always but they are top notch at writing the viewpoint from someone who is insane. I highlighted so many quotes from this book because of Brooklyn and Niall. Let me see if I can narrow down to a few quotes of the hilarious insanity:

"I slammed my knife into his side and his laughter turned to squeals as I kept stabbing. In out, in out, shake it all about, do the hokey cokey and – oh he’s dead."

"No more sads. They needed to get gone. All the way up a tiger’s butt with a coconut."

"I’m going to rip out your throat and stuff your giggle box up your ass."

"Fear was a foe in a bowtie, and I was wearing it ready to attend the ball."

Besides the amazing quotes from these two, there was alot of darkness to their story as well as Mateo. I think the trauma, savagery and lightheartedness were balanced really well. Brooklyn and Niall are so insane that Mateo really helps to balance out The Death Club. I loved Brooklyn's innocence and Mateo's darkness coming together.

“I’m the villain your mamá warned you about and your papa tried to protect you from,” he snarled through his teeth. “And you’re my new favourite obsession, little one. When I latch on, I can’t let go. So run for your life because I’ve got a taste for you now and the hunt is on. I won’t stop until you’re mine, mi sol.”

However I really want to throw that shock collar on Niall and zap him a few times. I understand he feels tortured about what happened to Ava, but come on, Brooklyn can 120% handle it. She was made for his world. And the age gap?! Really Niall?! You're concerned that she's 21? You two literally enjoy torturing and murdering people and you're concerned about 10 years.

I can't wait for the next book and to learn more about Angry Jack! Witcher look-alike?..Yes please!

On and i'm also going to start calling people cock waffles because it makes me giggle....

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Notable Highlights

"Was there anything worse than an ugly dick? Maybe a cake that had been used as a sex toy, but aside from that I couldn’t think of a damn thing."

"When life gives you assholes, make assholeaid."

"I was death in miniature form, with tiny little horns and leathery wings of doom." "I’d always wanted to kill a Lionel. There was something about that name which just screamed evil overlord to me, and I felt it was best to rid the population of them just in case they ever tried to rise up and rule the world like some kind of megalomaniac dragon king."

"...writing books about psychos in a magical prison for Fae who are all ruled by the stars and the zodiac and the lead character would be this badass werewolf girl who wants to break out a hot, tattooed incubus with a pierced dick and-” "I was gonna prove I was the best killer he ever saw today. Better than that Bundy guy or the Night Stalker or even Voldemort."

"...his overbearing presence surrounding me, sucking me in like I was a sad little soul and he was a Dementor."

"Pretty is what you call girls who are sweet and bland and boring. You're not pretty. You're the only thing in the room no matter how full it is. You're the kind of woman men go to war for. Even beautiful doesn't cut it for you. You're breath taking in the most extraordinary way."

"I was on my period, which had made the last couple of days even more emotional. I guessed it still beat living on the streets and shoving a rag in my panties though – or that beanie hat I’d stolen from Crusty Sue that time. I currently had a fancy foof stick tucked up there for my flow and it was such a luxury that I made a mental note to rob a whole warehouse of them and give them to the poor. I’d appear in the night and leave foof products at the feet of homeless girls. They’d call me the Crimson Tide. Saving foofs one flow at a time."

"People are awful," she murmured in agreement. "And I'm people too."

"...I wondered if I could claim them both, tattoo their dicks with my name and lock them in a cock cage or a dick dungeon whenever I wasn’t playing with them."

"Rage burned through me and I picked up a lamp, launching it across the room with a shriek that made the walls quiver. “Fucking lamp! Stop looking at me!” "Hello pretties, I’ve come for tea. Is there cake? I do like cake. But only when it’s served with a side of murder."

"I sat in the middle of my padded cell as the cushy walls bulged toward me like fluffy candy floss. Couldn’t eat it though. That was a no-no. Teethies didn’t like that. And it made the walls cry." "I tried to reach up to feel my nose, but the straitjacket held my arms down tight. I think my nose is still there…I hope so anyway. I wouldn’t want to look like Lord Voldemort. Though, I guess I could pull it off. I’d make a great Death Eater. I’d eat death for breakfast if I could. Nom, nom, nom. Wouldn’t beat Coco Pops though."